Once a family makes the huge decision to homeschool, they are instantly flooded with a myriad of other decisions to make – what style do they want use, which curriculum, co-op or not, which support group and so on. As we have been investigating options, an old familiar emotion has started creeping back in. Good old fashioned rebellion. One of the really appealing things about homeschooling to me and Jeff is that we get to be the one to make decisions about our children’s schooling. We can teach to their individual styles of learning, ensure they get a Biblical worldview, and allow subjects they are passionate about to guide us through our studies.

Well the other day, I was investigating a particular co-op, so I read through their handbook. I got to the part about personal appearance, and began to cringe. It stated that shorts and skirts need to be “near the knee”. Now, we are really big on modesty around our house, and I work to be very careful with the girls’ clothes. We don’t do two pieces, are careful about shirts, and don’t do short shorts. Even still, saying that shorts have to be knee length seems a bit strict. The handbook also went on to forbid facial piercings, un-natural hair colors, and longer hair on boys. I’m sure that some of these rules are common to schools, as well, but because this is in a strict Christian environment, it felt a bit suffocating. My mind was immediately flooded with images of waist length hair and knee length jumpers, and I started feeling a tad queasy. I’m probably already sensitive about this sort of thing because Jeff keeps asking me when I am going to make the girls’ bonnets for school days, to which I always respond with a smile and a “does that really never get old?”

See, I am a strange hybrid of a legalistic rule keeper and an anti-bandwagon rebel. This plays out interestingly in parenting. I tend to move towards legalism in parenting on some things, but totally buck the system on others. Jeff says he hasn’t quite figured out what tips the scale either way. I don’t know that I have either. 🙂 I do know that with our kids, I really want to allow them to be themselves. I want them to be secure enough in who God made them that they feel free to have their own opinions and taste and be free to express themselves. 
 

I personally believe that unnecessary rules and regulations promote rebellion. For example, if Maya wants a cute stud on her nose, I want her to be able to get one. I would rather her be able to openly express her desire for independence, instead of having to find an overt method that could reek serious consequences. I don’t want someone telling Maya a nose ring is wrong or Cooper that he has to cut his AMAZING curls, all in Jesus’ name, because it just isn’t. I think stuff like that is so confusing to kids. It paints God as the ultimate killjoy in the sky, micromanaging every detail of our life, just waiting for us to step out of bounds so He can strike us down. I so desire to just overwhelm our kids with God’s grace and love, and I don’t believe that rules and regulations will ever accomplish that.  Not to say that life in our family is a free for all because it most definitely is not.  In fact, a lot of people would say that we are pretty strict.  And we are.  On some things.  We don’t budge on issues that we feel the Bible clearly speaks to.  It’s just that Bible belt Christianity doesn’t always work that way. If dyed hair is done with a heart of wanting to “stick it to the man”, I don’t think that’s best.  However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that dying your hair crazy colors is always wrong.  If it is done instead with a heart for simply desiring to express individuality, I just don’t see the harm. 

On a side note, I am willing to concede that the nose ring scenario probably was brought to my mind by the fact that my cute, college aged cousin got a nose ring, and I might be a wee bit jealous. Or maybe a lot jealous. Honestly, if I weren’t such a baby, I might get one. Right now, however, I have bigger decisions to ponder, like when I am going to start packing up the house and which math curriculum to use. 🙂